Devastated .....

I'm not looking for responses or even anyone to pay attention. But I'm so hurt and upset right now I have to write or I'll scream.
Today is my one year anniversary, the first one, the one that should've been special, sweet, romantic.. Instead it's been not only a disappointment but an eye opener. It's taken a year but the fairy tale has come to an end and reality has settled in.

I don't think I'm unreasonable in this, our wedding day was rushed nothing like I dreamed, no honeymoon and the one we planned cancelled so we could be with the kids. So I don't think it's expecting to much to have hoped that my one year anniversary would've been a special day. That it would've been something more than just an ordinary day.

I wasn't expecting the world to stop or even anything major, heck I wasn't even hoping to go out. But I was hoping for acknowledgment, some sort of specialness. Instead I've spent the majority of the day being hurt. Hurt that he had time to pick up his hunting license but not flowers, hurt he only even said it when I said it first. I always thought my marriage was a fairy tale, I'm coming to find today that it's very real.

Now there's a house full of people and I've spent the end part of the day being ignored.... So all I have to say is "happy reality day" to me.


I'm going to go cry now......maybe I'll feel better afterwards... But I doubt it.